The years before school, and Pre-K Before I started school, I was a normal kid. I don't remember having any trouble talking to anyone. My parents were computer teachers at my school, and I remember talking to their students with no difficulty. Pre-School I don't know if it had anything to do with my SM, but the very first thing that happened to me in Pre-K was being told that I couldn't chew gum in school (which I was doing at the time). It seems kind of funny that I would get in trouble my first few minutes there. But I also remember being very scared and not wanting to go, and I couldn't talk to the teacher even before this, so I don't know if my anxiety really started then because I got in trouble or if I had been anxious long before that. One thing about this page is that, while it is mostly dedicated to selective mutism, as that is what I was actually diagnosed with, much of my life was also affected by other disorders that have gone unnoticed by most people (teachers, therapists, etc.). These include OCD, SID, and social phobia. I have read many parents of children with SID who mention their kids not being out of diapers even when they're in school. I was one of these kids too. I wore Pull-Ups to school all year, and for many years after that at home (but not in school). I was suddenly unable to talk to my parents' students. I could even tell by their faces that they were surprised, as I used to be quite outgoing and loud before, but whatever happened when I started school changed me into a completely different person. I could barely even look at any of these people anymore. Even though I didn't talk to my teacher, classmates, or anyone else at school, it was ignored and people said I would just 'grow out of it'. I never made any real attempt at making friends, as I didn't understand that was what I was supposed to do. I didn't understand the concept of friends, as I had never had any before that and no one seemed to be making any effort at being one of mine now. I wasn't upset about not having friends, because you can't miss something you don't know exists. However, one girl, "Marie" was nice to me, and we eventually became something like friends. My mom doesn't remember this now, but when I would wake up in the morning I couldn't even talk to her until I 'warmed up' to her for a few minutes. I was too nervous to even speak to my mom in my own house. Previous | Next
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