Kindergarten Pre-K was the last year that I actually ENJOYED school. Kindergarten was tolerable - that's the best I can put it. A few years ago my mom told me that she read that bullying doesn't start until 2nd grade, but I don't believe this. For me, it started before Kindergarten. I was in the bathroom one day, praying out loud to God to make school better for me, or to get me out of it. I was begging, almost crying. Then I heard giggling a few stalls down. The biggest bully in my class, 'Mandy', was listening to me the whole time. She ran back to class to tell everyone, about 12 kids and the teacher, about me 'singing in the bathroom'. Since I couldn't defend myself, everyone believed her, including the teacher, and everyone was telling me to talk to them too. If everyone was making such a big deal over something that didn't even happen, what would they do if I really did talk? We were learning our shapes, and my teacher had a big cartoon-type picture of a busy city for us to look at. We had to point out whatever 'tires' we saw, so I quickly pointed to the bike in the picture. My teacher said, "Those aren't tires, they're wheels." If there is a difference, I still don't know what it is. So naturally, as I was the only one who got it wrong, I was embarrassed and just sat there without participating anymore. I had no idea how to tell wheels and tires apart, so I might get it wrong again. Now I wonder, did the teacher just do this to make me look stupid, since I was already 'misbehaving' by refusing to talk? I wish I could remember if someone else pointed out the same 'wheels' - I bet they would have been tires then. As I was in a Catholic school, we had to spend some time each day learning our prayers. When we would practice the Sign of the Cross, I would do all the motions along with everyone, but my teacher would always single me out and put me on the spot. She would repeat over and over that I had to say the words or it didn't count. You couldn't say your prayers if you didn't do the Sign of the Cross, and if you didn't say it out loud it was no good. Even though I was scared that God would think I wasn't praying even though I was trying, it wasn't enough to make me say it. I felt bad for people who really couldn't talk. It wouldn't be for many years that I would realize it was PEOPLE, not God, who wouldn't accept me. Previous | Next
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